Connect with us

Shawna Schuh

True Leaders Learn the Skills of Telling, Selling and Asking

Beware the overshare.

Published

on

IN AN INTERVIEW FOR a new team member, we sat down and began some preliminary chit-chat.

Admittedly, I am a curious sort; I ask more questions than most. It’s my job, after all, as a leadership coach, so when I began by asking, “Tell me a little about yourself.” I did not expect to hear what I did: The interviewee went on to share and to overshare. We found out about her marriage history, abuse, blended families, a home lost by the recession and what was wrong with her last employer.

Video: Dog Warms Hearts with Agility Course Antics at Crufts Show
Headlines

Video: Dog Warms Hearts with Agility Course Antics at Crufts Show

World’s First Cloned Cat Dies at 18 (Video)
Headlines

World’s First Cloned Cat Dies at 18 (Video)

Video: No, Those Aren’t Bugs on Your Dog … or Your Husband
Headlines

Video: No, Those Aren’t Bugs on Your Dog … or Your Husband

She was talking too much for us to ask additional questions.

According to her resume, she had the skills we needed, but we decided we wouldn’t hire her because of her oversharing habit.

Oversharing lost her the job. Over-sharing can lose you customers, too.

What is a leader to do? Well, first, be sure you aren’t the one who overshares.

Advertisement

My coaching clients learn early that most leaders do three things often.

1. They tell. Usually, leaders are telling their team how to do things, what the vision is, how to handle customers. Leaders tell and tell and tell. They do this because they are the ones in the know. They are making the decisions, and to be good communicators, they tell their teams.

2. They sell. This is one most leaders don’t realize they are doing, but they do it all the time. After all, you want your team bought into your vision, and you want people to get excited. Leaders are the most knowledgeable about the product or business, and most started by selling so they sell.

When you are telling and selling, sometimes you forget and overshare. Leaders get zealous about things and sometimes that leads to oversharing.
What can you do to stop yourself from the overshare? What would have helped the interviewee land the job?

3. They ask. Leaders learn to be expert askers. When you ask questions, many wonderful things happen: The people you ask questions feel valued — like their opinion matters. You learn something. And you allow others to talk, which means you aren’t talking or oversharing.

To become an expert asker, all you need do is, of course, ask questions. This is a simple concept like dieting, and, like dieting, usually not easy.

Advertisement

Here are two questions most any leader or anyone will benefit from asking:

What is it you want?

This question helps the other person define their goals. For customers, it helps you help them. Note: Be prepared for some silence, a lot of people really don’t know what they want. If they are quiet, simply smile and ask them something else like, “What makes you happiest?”

What can I do for you?

This question gets to the core of need. It also shows them that you are focused on them. That’s the beauty of questions: They are outward focused, and when you are outward focused, it helps you be the kind of leader, teammate, partner, a parent that others want to be around.

If nothing else, please think before you overshare!

Shawna Schuh is a certified speaking professional, an executive coach, master neuro linguistic programming practitioner and president of Women in the Pet Industry Network. Email her at shawna@womeninthepetindustry.com.

Advertisement

Advertisement

Advertisement

Subscribe


BULLETINS

Get the most important news
and business ideas from PETS+.

Instagram

This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

Error: The account for petsplusmag needs to be reconnected.
Due to recent Instagram platform changes this Instagram account needs to be reconnected in order to continue updating. Reconnect on plugin Settings page

Error: No posts found.

Make sure this account has posts available on instagram.com.

Most Popular