What to Do When a Couple Can’t Agree on a Doodle Groom

EMMA LOOKED OVER her appointments for the day and saw the name Blondie. She recalled her salon manager saying the Doodle puppy’s owners had practically begged to get on the schedule, after saying they were unimpressed with every other groomer in town.

Looking at the last name, Emma recognized it from the salon she had worked at before opening her own business. The couple’s Sheltie was a client. Back then, the husband would drop off the dog and say, “Trim a lot,” and the wife would call afterward, furiously asking, “Why did you trim so much?!” The big kicker was that no matter who dropped off the dog, the instructions would vary and the other spouse would disagree and complain.

It had been exhausting. And now here they were on her schedule again, and with a higher-maintenance coat and therefore likely higher expectations. Emma trusted that her professional expertise had grown since they were last clients, so she decided to offer her best communication and customer service to mold the puppy parents into satisfied customers.

The first two appointments went well. The wife dropped off Blondie, gave clear instructions and complimented the groom during pickup. Emma even called after to make sure they were satisfied and heard nothing but praise.

For the third appointment, Emma arrived to find the husband pacing with Blondie outside the salon well before it opened. He seemed annoyed that no one was there yet. Emma learned that his wife had given him the wrong drop-off time.

Once inside the salon, the husband started rattling off complaints: “You didn’t trim the paws last time” and “Her ears were way too fluffy” and “I always have to fix the groom when we get home.” His tone was sharp, and the contradictions made Emma feel like she was walking a tightrope. She thought, “Here we go again …”

Emma texted his wife after he left: “Hi! Just confirming that we’re doing the same groom as last time. Your husband mentioned a few changes. Please let me know if anything needs to be adjusted so we can proceed with today’s session.” The wife replied right away: “Do exactly what you’ve been doing. It’s perfect!”

Emma followed the wife’s notes and completed the groom. The wife picked up later that day, paid, and gushed over how cute Blondie looked. But the pattern repeated at the next appointment. The husband dropped off, gave new and conflicting instructions, seemed annoyed and claimed the work wasn’t right. Then the wife would swoop in at pickup and say everything was perfect.

Emma was stretched thin and doing her best to stay professional, but the emotional tug-of-war between the couple left her drained. She wondered how to handle it going forward.

Ramie G.
Evanston, IL

This happens a lot. The person who cares most about the groom is rarely the person who drops off, and then they are horrified by what the person who dropped off instructed us to do. I tell customers that the person scheduling should tell us what they want and that we will call to discuss if that is not possible. I look at pick-up/drop-off dads like my own husband and business partner, who was not allowed to take our little kids to get haircuts because it often ended in tears. (Usually mine.) I actually told the salon next door to our shop that my husband was not allowed to bring the kids in and to get me if they showed up without me. (It was done humorously.) Make your policy clear when scheduling to avoid the issues.

Jodi E.
Bradley, IL

Soooo frustrating for the groomer to be in the middle of this situation. Someone in this power struggle is going to be unhappy (and it for sure will be the groomer if she lets it get to her). If this isn’t a problem throughout her clientele, I wouldn’t establish a policy. Emma definitely should have a discussion with this client if she wants to continue grooming the dog. Pick the person she prefers to deal with. Say that she enjoys working with the dog but needs them to agree on the specifics or she will not groom the dog anymore. Good groomers are hard to find. Dealing with unrealistic and unreasonable expectations is one of the main reasons we no longer offer pet grooming services in our store. Emma should save her sanity and fire the client if she dreads their visits.

Gianna P.
Myrtle Beach, SC

We’ve had situations similar to this, and rather than get in the middle of things with the couple, we’ve made it clear to both parties that the person who drops off the pet gives the directions. This only applies to situations where it’s two people that regularly alternate, not one-offs when a friend drops off or anything like that. This keeps the staff from having to deal with an upset parent, when the other gave different directions, and forces the couple to communicate with each other if they want a consistent groom. Very rarely will we “pick sides,” unless the person dropping off is giving drastically different instructions. In that case, we ask the person dropping off to contact the other party and confirm what we’re doing so we’re not responsible for any miscommunications. All that said, this is a case-by-case situation where Emma has to know her clients and use her best judgement while still looking out for herself.

Doug S.
New City, NY

Grooming can be trying at times, especially in a situation like this, where one spouse wants one thing and the other wants another. We try our best to make everyone happy, including the dog. When it comes to Doodles, they look their best in a “puppy cut,” a non-gender style that makes a dog look adorable. I would explain this to both owners and see the response. Most respond positively (and the men don’t think it’s too “girly”) and continue with that profile. If that doesn’t work, then tell the client to flip a coin and the winner gets their way.

Karen C.
Delavan, WI

Been through this many times early on. If we encountered this with a customer more than once, I addressed it. When we would make the courtesy reminder calls, I would ask, “What are we going to do with Bailey at her appointment?” That would be noted on the client’s record. If the person dropping off had a different set of instructions, my response was simple: “We don’t get involved in marital disputes. I can groom with the approved instructions or you can rebook when you both agree, but we are out eight weeks with no guarantee of a spot.” (Luckily I write down every visit with what I did so I can look back to see what length we left body, ears, feet, tail, etc.) Have a policy in place so your valuable time isn’t being wasted. At this point the threat of being left off the schedule is a real motivator!

Terri E.
Salem, OR

Lots of experience with this after 10 years in grooming! Explain gently that you need to ensure clear instructions for each groom. We learned to get it in writing, signed and dated by the owners. Or take a photo of the complimented groom to get initialed at drop-off.

Jusak Yang B.
Georgetown, TX

Better communication needs to be established. After a couple of occasions, I feel the groomer should be able to have a frank conversation with the customers. Having both husband and wife present is key. At the end of the day, this will eliminate much stress from an already stressful profession. Reputation is very important, especially as a business owner. This separates Emma from the others, as well as maintaining loyal customers. Good customer service is all about honesty.

Brittany P.
Cocoa Beach, FL

The “contradictory couple” scenario is such a common issue. The best approach is to communicate with both pet parents at once. If mom can respond to a text after dad drops off, she might be available for a quick call. If not, schedule a brief conversation with both before the next appointment. Express your love for Blondie and reassure them that your goal is to satisfy both owners. Kindly highlight their differing requests and suggest options for a middle ground. If they can’t agree, ask them to discuss and decide on a look together, then share their decision before the groom. A call ahead of time may feel like extra effort, but it prevents frustration and miscommunication. At best, everyone is happy. At worst, you’ll have a clear record of following their agreed-upon instructions. Either way, it’s worth it.

Dr. Kristy F.
Decatur, GA

Most studies show that women lead the healthcare in their family, so luckily the wife is happy with the service. Emma should establish a point person for confirmation on what should be done and mention to the wife that this eliminates any discrepancies and ensures outstanding service. I would also put in my intake form that the point person is the one eligible to give reviews. Still allow the husband to pick up and drop off, and let it roll. Emma will have covered all her bases.

Lisa V.
San Diego, CA

This is not a shop problem. This is a relationship problem. We have had this happen before and do our best to give them “no cost” therapy. However, if it happens several times, it is not worth it to have them as a client. It’s hard, but the back-and-forth is exhausting and time consuming.