Jennifer Lawrence, Fake Poop and More Customer Stories That Are Crazy but True

Wait, what? No way! Seriously?! So often goes our response to the “True Tales” submitted by members of the PETS+ Brain Squad, our group of 1,200-plus reader contributors. We only run one in every issue, which means we have many more waiting for their turn in the magazine. So with that in mind, here are 10 that were just too good to let sit for any longer. This batch involves customers, and we’ll run a roundup of employee “True Tales” next. Stay tuned!

1. EW! ALSO, THAT’S ILLEGAL IN SOME STATES

We had a customer come in once who tried to return an item during the Covid shutdown. She bought it six months prior, so we denied the return as it was a food item. She then Facebook messages me, threatening me and saying she should have come in when she got Covid and rubbed her fluids all over the product to get me sick. It was hands-down one of the craziest experiences. And when I looked her up, I found out she was a social worker. Kendra Martin, Woof & Whiskers, Omaha, NE

2. DIY GEAR

Our grooming clients often show up with crazy things in place of leashes/collars — we require dogs to be leashed to enter. Here’s a few of the latest: extension cord, fish stringer, Covid mask for a collar, clothesline. Can’t make this sh*t up. LOL! Karen Connell, The Bark Market LLC, Delavan, WI

3. THAT STINKS

A woman dropped her dog for a groom and asked for a very short shave-down. So we shaved the dog, and she loved it. Well, her husband hated it and blamed us, called us every ugly name in the book. A week later, we received a “Bag of Poop” in the mail with a note telling us he thinks we’re full of crap. It was wet, yucky fake poop … however, it was still a pretty “crappy” thing to do when it wasn’t even our fault. Can you imagine what the wife puts up with on a daily basis? Danielle Wilson, Bath & Biscuits, Granville, OH

4. SO, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

We had a client with a series of yellow flags throughout their pet care time with us. Always paid in large bills of new cash. The house wasn’t furnished except for the living room and a bed (two stories, four bedroom, three baths). One time, we arrived to find a legit pair of handcuffs just sitting on a counter. Another time, and one of our last visits, we arrived and an AK-47 was just propped against a wall and there was a SILENCER on it (who needs an AK-47 with that?!). Soon after, he just never rebooked, and when we passed by the home, he had moved. This was all in a span of about six months. Amber Van Denzen Suarez, Atta Boy! Animal Care Pet Sitting + Dog Walking, Mulberry, FL

5. THAT’S NOT HOW STORES WORK

A customer tried on a harness, hung up their old one and walked out! Rachel McGinnis, Leo & Lucky’s, Parrish, FL

6. THAT’S NOT HOW PACKAGING WORKS

We had a customer return a jar of probiotics for not being “completely full to the top,” even though we explained to her that supplements are sold by weight and she acknowledged this at the time. She still returned the supplement because she felt the company was being “deceitful.” WOW. Krysta Fox, Bruce & Willy’s Natural Pet Source, Geneva, IL

7. BUT, WHAT WAS IN THE BAG?!

We had a man drop off a miniature Poodle for grooming. A new customer who booked two months in advance. As he was leaving, he left a duffel bag at the counter. He left before we could get his attention, never picked up the dog, and there was no microchip. Our groomer took the Poodle home for two nights. My sister’s family was ready to adopt this sweet dog. We had the police involved from the start. On the dog’s third day at the store, the police brought the ex-wife in and she claimed the dog. The doggy was so excited to be reunited! The ex-husband had a court date the day he brought the dog in, and he was taken into custody and put in jail. Carol Will, Lola & Penelope’s, St. Louis, MO

8. KATNISS HERSELF

A couple of years ago, two of my staff were helping a young woman in a baseball hat who seemed like she was trying to not make eye contact. I was watching from the cameras in my office. She was having fun with the Fluff & Tuff toys and bought several, and several chews and treats. When they were finished cashing her out and she drove off, they ran to the back to tell me they just had the opportunity to help Jennifer Lawrence! Terri Nichols, CityDog Market, Atlanta, GA

9. THAT’S ILLEGAL, TOO

I was helping a customer with collars. Her back was to the door, and a man walked in, flashed me and walked out — without the customer ever noticing! Jamie Judson, City Bark, Detroit, MI

10. YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOSE

We had a first-time customer complain that our Doggy Easter Egg Hunt started too early for her to get her kids organized. It starts at 11 a.m., and we usually get about 100 dogs at this event, but she wanted it changed just so her kids could sleep late. Her “kids” are teenagers, by the way. Pattie Zeller, Animal Connection, Charlottesville, VA